Allow me to explain the woolly mammoth theory of the differentiation of the sexes. Mind you, I am a bit of a creationist and certainly not a Darwinist, though I suspect that Heaven may have used a sort of natural selection in His design for humanity. Having said that, let me suggest that there are times when it is very difficult for a woman to chase the woolly mammoth.
A woman who is great with child would probably rather not join the hunt. I suspect that over the eons it became her job to keep the cave in order, fighting off the saber-tooth tiger and looking for roots, berries, seeds and other useful things at the mouth of the cave. No stereotype is fully accurate, but some generalizations can be inferred though I am sure that some female cave persons were great hunters of the woolly mammoth, but in general, it would seem that women and men ended up in differentiated roles because of physical capacity.
Perhaps this is why some women seem to have a greater sense of detail than men (in general, though certainly not universally). This would explain the phrase “Honey, have you seen.... my briefcase...my socks....my brains.....” Most men would leave the cave bewildered and semi-clad were there not a tolerant woman to point him in the right direction and make sure he had his arrows, his bow and his pointy sticks for poking the woolly mammoth. Men on the other hand have the big picture. “That’s an elephant on the horizon! I’d know it anywhere!”
This is why men and women watch television differently. Women actually watch television. Men, with channel changer in hand, keep looking for something better on the tube. We are not watching television (unless it’s a game). We are watching to see what’s ON television. We are actually looking for woolly mammoths. Women are always trying to get us to help clean the cave and re-arrange the boulders. We are very busy sitting on the couch staring into space. Don’t be fooled. We are actually hard at work. Once again, we are keeping vigil in case a woolly mammoth goes by, and if you keep pestering us, one might just get past and we wouldn’t even know about it! I know about these things, because having participated in the National Geographic Genome Project, it seems that I am descended from a very long line of Cro-Magnon Cave Persons, so just trust me on this woolly mammoth business.
Where was I? Oh, yes. After eons of hunting and gathering and natural selection, men and women, it turns out, are actually DIFFERENT!!!!! The great difference I suspect, has to do with attitudes towards the begetting of children and their birth. If the natural goal is to get one’s DNA out there, women and men certainly have different strategies. A woman needs a cave person who is a fairly good hunter who is willing to stand guard with a pointy stick at the mouth of the cave. Before her offspring are viable life forms she is going to need a safe dry cave until the kids are at least 13 or 14. Men on the other hand go for quantity over quality. Once it is clear that the reproductive job is over, he is happy to move on and do the same favor for some other lucky cave woman. Great system, no? Men and women, at least in my experience, often have different agendas in mind. Or am I mistaken? If a man is not constrained by religious taboo, or convention or a father-in-law wielding a big club, is prone to go off with the fellows hunting the woolly mammoth or hunting something else.
Malcolm Muggeridge, an English agnostic who ultimately became a Catholic, and who wrote the biography of Mother Theresa “Something Beautiful for God” maintained something very unusual for a twentieth century thinker. He held that the decision in the twentieth century of which the Catholic Church would be proudest would be its decision to maintain the prohibition of artificial birth control. He believed that artificial birth control was a disaster because it divorced erotic love from family life.
This ran counter to all the other great pundits of the age, but Mr. Muggeridge was exactly right. Malcolm Muggeridge wrote that, “...it has become abundantly clear in the second half of the twentieth century that Western Man has decided to abolish himself. Having wearied of the struggle to be himself, he has created his own boredom out of his own affluence, his own impotence out of his own erotomania...”
Erotomania. Great word. Means sex-crazed. Sex-that-demands-no-commitment-or- sacrifice-crazed. He is right. Western Man is committing suicide. He is killing himself by doing away with Western Woman and the complex, impossible, unwieldy, often frustrating duel to the death that is erotic love between men and women.
I think what Mr. Muggeridge was driving at is that the invention of recreational sex for women is a disaster. Have you ever wondered why the Serpent tempted Eve before he took a crack at Adam? Simple. Woman is the creator of life, the creator of civilization. Left to their own devices some men would not even bathe, much less bathe their offspring. Humanity is woman. Let me be blunt. For men, from Adam on down, sex has always been recreational. For women, at least historically, sex is a bit more complex. When a woman gave herself to a man, it was not recreation. It was a great risk. Until very recent times, there was very good chance that a woman would die in child birth. To engage in intimate contact was a true sacrifice that involved giving of life and the risk of death on the part of women. Men didn’t make sacrifices for life until the child was born. For men, however responsible parenthood was and is, unfortunately, optional.
The devil is only secondarily interested in men. Getting us to volunteer for damnation is like shooting fish in a barrel. It is women that the devil hates. He hates women because he hates children, and that is because, unless you are like a little child, you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. It is the Ancient Serpent’s goal to abolish Woman. In our era, he has accomplished this by means of the “the little golden pill.” In the charming phrase of the singing nun, (“La pilule d'or - Soeur Sourire” You can actually here her singing this classic about the glories of artificial birth control on You tube.) The pill allows women to be as shallow and self-absorbed as men have always been, or least to pretend that they are as shallow and self-absorbed. No commitments, no babies to worry about or ruin one’s figure. I suspect that as the divorce rates skyrocket and as the nests lie empty, women are left with unspoken aching in their souls.
Can you believe it? More to come next week!