Letter to Ann T. Clerikuhl
continued….yet more whining
There are many more
elements to the current mess. One is the new concept of “liturgical style”. We
have dancing celebrants, Broadway tune-singing celebrants, children’s Mass clown
celebrants, and the ubiquitous Five-Sermons-Explaining-The-Mass-As-You-Go-Along
celebrant. We also have the Say-What’s-In-The-Black-Do-What’s-In-The-Red
celebrant, or the boring celebrant. I am of the boring celebrant school.
Someone recently recommended that I make Mass more exciting.
I retorted, “On the
contrary! I am trying to make Mass more boring!”
They said that I was
succeeding beyond my wildest dreams in doing so.
The
Five-Sermons-Explaining-The-Mass-As-You-Go-Along celebrant says things like
“Peace be with you, true peace, inner peace, that deep serenity, that knowing
which the Lord gives us that makes us aware of the beauty of nature and the
fullness of the plentitude of all innerness.”
To this the congregation
responds, “And with your Spirit.” Or sometimes just, “Back at ya’ Father.”
This kind of priest finds
himself infinitely interesting and thinks we do too. It never occurs to him that
maybe you just want to go to Mass. This type of celebrant also tends to have a
religious voice when praying; He says things like, “O, Gawd…” in high-pitched
voice accompanied by extravagant gestures. He usually wears interesting
vestments.
In the old Mass there were lots of ways a priest could commit a mortal sin while
saying Mass. If he willingly left out or changed parts and actions of the Mass,
it was a big deal. This seems absurd, but it had a few things going for it. Mass
was Mass was Mass. You were perfectly at home in the jungles of Bavaria or on
the dark and mysterious North Shore of Chicago. Now that we have dancing,
singing, clowning, extemporizing celebrants, it doesn’t seem that absurd.
The wisdom of the ages
knew that we the clergy have serious temptations to raging narcissism, but as
long as we all had to do the same thing, weren’t talking into a microphone and
weren’t even looking at people for most of the Mass, we were pretty much held in
check. When we turned around and got our mitts on a microphone, all bets were
off. A few neglected children found a ready audience for their unrecognized and
unappreciated cuteness.
Things are better now.
Most of the serious narcissists found more amusing things to do 20 or 30 years
ago, but the tendency among some is to think that the emotive, cute, expressive
liturgical style is somehow better, or more pastoral, or more sincere. I
remember a homiletics teacher who used to say, “Gentleman, you have to put more
pizzazz in the homily!” I agree with him. The homily sometimes needs a little
more enthusiasm, but we have definitely overcompensated and put our pizzazz into
anything but the homily. I for one am pretty tired of liturgical pizzazz. I
would like a little more substance and a little less pizzazz. Anyway…..
The liturgical pizzazz syndrome has had some interesting results. Combine that
with the fact that now a person may drive for half a day to a parish where they
feel “comfortable,” and you get designer parishes. If you like lots of incense,
you can go to St. Foggia’s. If you like grand Mozart Masses you can drive across
town to St. Teutonica’s. If you like Broadway show tunes you can always stop in
for the matinee Mass at Saints Panes et Circenses.
You catch my drift? In the
evil olden days you were stuck with old Monsignor Fensterslammer who said Mass
pretty much the way everybody else said it. This was the same era in which all
phones were black and kept on the desk in the front hall, the era in which
telemarketers could not harass you in the bathroom. Just as we upgrade our
phones every six months, we can upgrade our religion about as quickly. In the
sad past your parish was your parish and you knew those people from cradle to
grave and they knew you.
When Old Monsignor Fensterslammer kicked the bucket, they carried him out of the
rectory feet first, decked the church façade in black bunting and waited for the
next guy, who might be a better or worse preacher or a better or worse confessor
or more or less a curmudgeon than the old guy who had just died, but the parish
was still the parish. The head of the Altar and Rosary Society was still the
head of the Altar and Rosary society. The same was true for the women’s guild,
the Holy Name Society, the men’s club, the school and the mothers’ club. The
secretary and the housekeeper and the janitor still growled at you when you
wanted something and life went on.
You still had a community
that demanded your tolerance, your love, and your best efforts to make it work,
and often your forgiveness. Thank God that era is over and we can make demands
of our community instead of having to put up with the demands our community
makes on us. We no longer have to put up with people we may not like and who may
not think like we do. We can have genuine community. (This is sarcasm, of
course, like most of this entire screed.)
There is an unforeseen problem with the designer parish. The pastor is moved
every 12 years, maximum, the associate every six years. Then they put in someone
at St. Foggia’s who hates incense, someone at St. Teutonica’s who only likes
that new music from 50 years ago, like those classic funeral hymn “On Beagles’
Wings” or “I will Raise The Rent” and someone at Saints Panes and Circenses who
refuse to say Mass in any language but Latin. People take to their cars in a
desperate search for another parish where they can feel comfortable and have
true community.
I am writing all this not
merely to get things off my chest, which feels remarkably refreshing, but to
point out that if you are looking for the parish and the parish priest of once
upon a time, that structure died in the heady days of the post-conciliar Church.
It’s not coming back. The cloud of glory has moved on. Where it has moved I am
not sure.
Next week, more endless
whining.
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