A Series of Essays “On the
Business of Religion” by the Rev. Know-it-all
Essay Three: On the Canonization
of Cato the Elder
I would like to suggest that we
consider Cato the Elder, an ancient Roman from the times even before Christ,
the times of the Roman Republic. I think he might provide a valuable
model for creating vital and viable parishes in our times.
Marcus Porcius Cato;
234–149 BC, also known as Cato the Elder, was a Roman soldier, senator and
historian known for his practicality and
opposition to Hellenistic fripperies. He is the very image
of Roman practicality. He was not a patrician but was a Senator. He was what
the Romans called a new man, not from one of the old noble families so he had
to try harder. He believed that he was superior to these so-called aristocrats who were
men of business. He clung to the practical rural values that made Rome
flourish. A noble Roman could make money only from farming. Oddly, the
construction business was considered a form of farming because bricks, wood and
stone came from the land, so but if a noble Roman wanted to make money he had
to espouse the pious old Roman values but had to make his money through dummy
manufacturing corporations, secret investments and land acquisitions all
run by agents who knew business and could be discrete. Cato did very well,
thank you. He believed in the old Roman ways and that money; especially real
estate mattered most. His quotes are most interesting.
“Sell worn-out oxen, blemished
cattle, blemished sheep, wool, hides, an old wagon, old tools, an old slave, a
sickly slave, and whatever else is superfluous. The master should have the
selling habit, not the buying habit.”
This is most certainly the way to
run a business. Maximize assets! Dump old stuff and old workers so you don’t
have to care for them in old age. Wise men
learn more from fools than fools from the wise. If some fool is
willing to buy the stuff dump it like a bad habit, things, animals and people!
Why should you have to feed and care for an old slave? That’s no way to run a
business.
I hear these days that a parish
should be run much more like a business than it is, best practices and all. It
only makes sense. After all money is life’s report card is it not? A parish
should be judged by a very few criteria: the size of the congregation, the size
of its income and the condition of its real estate. We are kidding ourselves if
we think the church is a family and not a vast international corporation. Truly
an approach Catonian! Does it matter that some old employee or schoolteacher
has served the Lord and the parish for thirty or forty years at sub-standard
wages? Not in the least. Does it matter that a congregation may be poor and
small but very holy and a place of great service to the poor? Not in the least.
Such places are just not structurally or financially viable these days. I
remember a parish whose congregation was about 300 and whose collections came
to about $70,000 a year while its expenses were close to a million. Somehow the
bills were always met. They educated poor immigrant children at almost no cost
to their families. They fed and clothed thousands every month. The children of
the wealthy came and waited on the poor there at the soup kitchen. Above all
God was worshipped and Christ was preached. Scores of people were converted to
the faith by the example of the volunteers and under paid staff. Some went on
to the religious life and the ordained priesthood.
The place is closed now. It continues
some operations for a while yet, but it no longer exists as a parish. Such a
place was just not viable. Too small, too poor. The only way we are going
to make it is the way the mega churches do, big buildings, big congregations,
big collections and big screens with the words to the hymns so they can be seen
back in the cheap seats by the espresso bar. Another Cato quote. He uttered it
at the end of every senate meeting: “Furthermore,
I think Carthage must be destroyed.”
Eventually it was! St. Cato
the Elder, Guide us!
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